grumpy-author

The Truth About Being a Writer

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Whenever I tell someone I’m a writer, I always get the same question:

“Isn’t it hard to come up with new ideas?”

Honestly? No. Writing is the easy part—at least when it comes to the first draft.

It’s the second, third, and fourth drafts where I start hating everything I’m doing.

But even that stage is a walk in the park compared to everything else you have to do as a self-published author.

Like what? Let’s make a list:

  • Finding the perfect cover image (and wondering if it screams “amateur” or not).
  • Figuring out a title that actually fits the content.
  • Writing a back-cover blurb that makes readers want to read it —because if no one reads it, what’s the point?

All part of the job, right? 

Welcome to self-publishing: where you’re not just a writer, you’re a designer, marketer, tech support rep, and (occasionally) a problem-solving superwoman (I wish).

And trust me—it’s a lot to learn. The good news? It gets easier after a while. Uhm, well, kind of…

But here’s what really drains me:

  • Trying to create a Facebook account to automate Instagram posting… only to have it shut down by Meta. No explanation. No appeal. Just silence. (Unless you call a lawyer, I guess?)
  • Waking up to discover that Eden Books changed their homepage from edenbookstore.com to edenbooks.com—which broke seventy-two of my shortlinks. Yep, newsletter links, homepage buttons, Instagram posts… all useless now. I could spend a week fixing it—or scream into a pillow.
  • Getting an email from Smashwords saying they found “pseudo-incest” in one of my titles. Excuse me, what? Where? (Still looking.) Now it’s banned from Apple and other platforms.
  • Getting flagged by Google because my book “isn’t kid-friendly.” Yes, Google, that’s why I checked the “Adult Content” box. Thanks for removing the preview and killing my sales. Much appreciated.

So yeah—writing the book? That’s the fun part.
Everything else? That’s business.
That’s clutter.
That’s what it’s like to be a solo creative juggling a dozen jobs and putting out fires before breakfast.

Still… 

What can you do? Nothing, except take a deep breath and get back to my next book. Maybe a crime novel where a character accidentally bankrupts a giant tech company. Therapeutic, right?

Sometimes I wonder if I should just keep writing books and stop publishing them altogether.
But then again—where’s the fun in that?

Maybe I just need that lawyer after all (pondering…) 

Or maybe… I’ll just include all the backlashes in my next newsletter or book.

Sure, at least that means they are good for something. 

Just like pests, snails and fires…lol.

Brain fog

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Ever wondered if your holiday was just a little too long? Like… maybe you should’ve come back sooner, just to avoid the post-vacation brain fog?

Yeah, me too.

Not that it would’ve helped. My brain seems to clock out after four hours anyway (just like the fog outside my window this morning).

And the next four hours? Pure uphill battle. Imagine “walking through mud”, but with spreadsheets.

Luckily, everyone else is also moving in slow motion right now. Workloads are light, the vibe is lazy, and honestly? It feels almost acceptable to slack a little.

But luckily, the fog is finally lifting.

How do I know? I spotted an error in a table I’ve looked at at least twenty times. An error that had been hiding in plain sight… for four years.

Auditors didn’t catch it. My colleagues didn’t catch it. Apparently, everyone just assumed I don’t make mistakes. (Sorry to ruin the illusion, folks.)

Was it thrilling to find the mistake? Sure.

But honestly, I was more relieved than thrilled. Because this means:

  1. My brain still works.
  2. Even if it works differently after my holiday.

Maybe extended holidays unlock creativity? (Or maybe they just fix your internal “stupid mistakes” detector?)

Still, I’m going to take full advantage of it and hopefully pour this energy into my latest book project.

Unless, of course, writing is excluded from this so-called “creativity bonus package.” In that case, you will probably find me doomscrolling on my phone while I pretend to brainstorm brilliant ideas.

In the meantime, the fog outside my window has lifted. Only to be replaced by horizontal rain. Yay!

It’s kind of cool to watch as long as you don’t have to go out in it.

Oh well, that’s western Norway in a nutshell. It is always raining.

But… I bet they never tell you that in the tourist brochures, eh?

Tax report? Already?

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Yes. It’s that time again. Time for the yearly tax report. Sigh.

Last year, I promised myself that I would start earlier next year. I probably said the same thing the year before. But did it help?

Nope.

Every year, the weeks seem to pass quickly, and I believe I have plenty of time to fix my accounting and calculate all the numbers.

Until….uhm, deadline?

So, right now, I’m just postponing the whole thing until I get the tax report from Google. They are always late (compared to the Norwegian tax office). However, since I deal with so many different currencies, it’s easier to collect reports from each vendor that specify my income in a single currency rather than having to decipher which exchange rate to use for each of the twenty different currencies.

That said, it’s never as straightforward as I would assume. Sometimes, I sell an item in USD. Then it’s calculated into EURO, and after that, I get paid in NOK. Additionally, I have to pay a fee to my bank to enable them to accept the amount from a foreign bank.

Complicated?

Absolutely. Particularly when all the numbers are supposed to be entered into my accounting system and uploaded to the Norwegian tax office. I still have nightmares about doing something wrong and being locked up for life (one of the downsides of having a vivid imagination, I guess. LOL).

Anyway, right now, I’m postponing the whole thing while I’m waiting for Google.

Until that arrives, I can put my head in the sand and write and relax….

Oh, and Google, since you’re probably reading this? Can you please wait until Monday before sending me that tax report?

I would like to take some time off this weekend. Next month will be just fine. Just saying.

It’s funny how this reminds me of the woman who said that she would adore AI once they figured out how to do the dishes for her.

After all, what’s the point of replacing all the fun tasks and leaving us with the boring ones, right?

So, AI, you’re most welcome to handle the tax reports for me from now on.

Unless you make more mistakes than I do…

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Emergency backup of my Kindle content

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Have you ever made backups of your Kindle content? I know I haven’t. So, imagine my surprise when I came across this YouTube video.

In short, you can at any time (depending on Amazon’s whims) lose all your downloaded content from Amazon. Even the ebooks you’ve bought and downloaded to your Kindle e-reader or the app. The reason is that you haven’t actually bought the books. You have only bought a temporary licence to read them. So, that means that Amazon can update or remove the content when they want to, and they can also close your account if they suddenly decide to do so (and I know very well how quickly they can decide to close you down, so I don’t trust them at all).

I’m just….WHAT?

Right now, I have about 3500 books on that app. And many years ago, I even bought a Kindle e-reader. (Something that I will never do again.)

Bottom line: I paid for those books so I’m keeping them. Even if it means that I have to download them one by one.

So, have you backed up your content? Or are you still hoping that Amazon will be reasonable?

Tax reports and juicy stories

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Somehow, I always imagined that being a writer would allow me to spend all my time coming up with ideas and writing juicy stories.

Oh boy, did I get that wrong.

So, after a long day at my day job, juggling numbers, having multiple video calls and trying to calculate everything correctly, I opened my email and…

VAT report? Already?

Alright. Maybe it was two months since the last one.

Short story: I spent a week piecing together all the numbers and trying to correctly enter them into my accounting system (they always tell you these programs are self-explanatory, but that’s not the case). Anyway, I delivered the report about ten days before the deadline.

So yay! One more coffee and back to writing.

But then I opened my other email, and guess what: It’s been three years since I delivered my last tax certificate to Smashwords, so they need me to update the IRS Form W-8BEN.

Uhm, right. How did I do that again? It’s amazing how much you can forget in three years, and what on earth is a TIN number again?

Anyway, I finally got it sorted, and the form will hopefully be approved on my first attempt (fingers crossed).

So, back to writing…..

What was that idea again? I’ve completely forgotten what I was working on.

Right. Anything on Netflix this evening? Oh, it’s already bedtime? Damn…

I’m finally on Spotify (involuntarily)

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Wow! One of my titles is on Spotify (quite involuntarily, I must admit).

But LOL. He even says I’m a #1 New York Times Bestseller. I wish 😍

Wilson, dear. The writer you’re looking for is named Sylvia Day. But I appreciate the compliment 😂

Keep up the good work, by the way, lol. All publicity is good publicity, right?

Killing my darlings

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The final editing of a story always takes longer than I expect. But the worst part of the process is to make decisions as to which scenes to deleted and which to keep. No wonder they call this process “killing your darlings”, eh? Because sometimes it feels like you have to remove a limb or something substantial that you really want to keep.

Nevertheless, I always love to read these deleted scenes when other authors are brave enough to publish them. I always think that they add a bit more context to the story, even if they don’t quite fit the storyline. So, I asked myself: maybe I’m not the only one who likes to read these scenes?

If so, you might want to check out the Premium versions I have (and will) published on my Payhip site. F.ex for Mating the Omega, I have included four deleted scenes. “Turning the Omega” will have six deleted scenes, while “Taming the Omega” will likely have the same (depending on how many I want to include).

And the best thing about looking through old files? I just found eight unfinished drafts in the Mooncrest pack series that I can’t remember having written. Wow!

December, already?

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I officially hate winter. Seriously, I do. Yes, yes, I’m Norwegian, so I should just love skiing and being outdoors and all that.

But, no. Snow looks much better from inside the house. Particularly when we get cold winds from Siberia and only a few centimetres of the white shiny stuff. It’s not enough to go skiing, but it’s plenty enough to make you slide off the road when you drive. That is, if you can manage to wipe off the ice from the windows so you can go driving at all.

And the cold? Yikes. I agree with the birds. It’s better to migrate south during winter.

Anyway, things are looking up. Next week we’ll have 5 degrees and rain. Now that’s more like it. Maybe I’ll even finish that Christmas story I’ve started. I just have to find that Christmas spirit again….. I wonder where I put it last year….lol…